Five Etiquette Tips to Begin
Using Today!

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When students ask me how to implement etiquette in their daily journeys, there are five etiquette tips I always recommend to get them started. No, I do not begin with which fork to use or when to stand and greet someone, although these skills are necessary for appropriately conducting oneself. The most meaningful etiquette tips are those that help us remain mindful of other people.

Becoming mindful of your need to influence and get along with other people is the first step on an etiquette-ful journey through life. Being intentional about how you conduct yourself as a person makes it easier to see the value of etiquette. It is the foundation that good relationships are built upon, along with the added virtues of patience, kindness, and honesty.

Be a Positive Influence

Socially or professionally, the most valued relationships are those in which people like and trust each other. If people don't like and trust you, you have no way of influencing them and there is little chance they will want to spend much time with you.

However, showing respect, courtesy, and kindness to someone, and also showing them you treat everyone in the same manner, builds a positive impression. Consistency in doing so indicates authenticity.

My Five Etiquette Tips

Choose to be mindful and aware of the immediate needs of other people near you. If you are approaching a door and notice someone behind you with an armload of packages, hold the door for them to enter. If the temperature in your office is comfortable to you, but your coworkers are freezing, offer to adjust the thermostat in an attempt to satisfy everyone. Even if you can't always resolve a situation, showing others that you care and are willing to help will make them feel seen and heard.
Aim to be respectful of every person you meet. This requires knowledge of what respect looks like to other people in an array of situations and circumstances. Letting that twinkle of courtesy in your eye reflect in the way you comfortably show up with others is a demeanor we can all practice daily.
Aim to learn what is becoming and appropriate. This will vary according to situations and circumstances. Practice empathy by thinking of how we might feel in a certain situation were we to be on the receiving end. And it means learning and being mindful of the rules that people operate with and through in their daily lives. Seeking to know what is expected in social situations puts you ahead of the curve.
Include a daily dose of genuine small talk in your social diet. Sometimes our moments of life seem to zip by so quickly that we later wish we'd stopped and smelled more roses. An antidote to this is consciously creating meaningful, even if minimal, interactions with people you encounter. Whether standing in line, going for a walk, greeting a neighbor, or introducing yourself in a local shop, you are in real interaction with others. Intentionally taking time every day to treat others as you would hope to be treated yourself is just what small talk helps occasion. Watch your empathy score increase!
Give up the habit of complaining! We are all guilty of noticing the negatives in our daily lives and airing grievances about them. But etiquette doesn’t allow for it. Step aside from being dramatic and emphatic and seek solutions or workarounds instead. This opens up more time to practice your good habits of listening and learning.

With Ease and Grace

We all want to possess the ability to get along with others, even in tense situations. The practice of etiquette skills gives you the confidence to navigate most environments comfortably and with a sense of grace. But actually, you're simply showing respect, mindfulness, and kindness wherever you go, and to whomever you meet. This is probably the best etiquette tip anyone could share.